Sunday, December 17, 2017
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Why be assertive?

So you…

  • Feel good about yourself – good self esteem
  • Have better relationships with others
  • Reach your goals
  • Get things done
  • Aren’t taken advantage of
  • Gain respect of others
  • Protect your rights
  • Take control of your life
  • Let others know what you think, feel, need and want

 

Ways to be more assertive:

  • Get ready
  • Use positive body language – sit or stand straight and tall, head up, look people in the eye
  • Have a confident tone of voice
  • Practice
  • Know what you want
  • Ask for help if you need or want it
  • Believe in yourself
  • Take a deep breath

 

Do it

  • Don’t apologise because your view is different to others
  • Say “No” if you need to
  • Use “I statements” (see next page)
  • Listen to others (see Are you Listening 3.2)
  • Be decisive – stick to your decision
  • Stay calm – learn to deal with anger and emotion
  • Have your say - Don’t allow interruptions
  • Repeat yourself if necessary
  • Be reasonable – don’t be unfair to others


 

Using “I statements”

Using an “I statement” you can tell someone how you feel, without accusing the other person.

When you want to use an “I Statement” you say these things:

“I feel ……………” (what emotion do you feel?)

“when ……………” (what is causing the feeling?)

“and I would like ……………” (what outcome do you want?).

Instead of saying “Will you stop that racket, you’re driving me insane!” (a “you statement”) try saying “I feel annoyed when you won’t stop singing and I’d rather than you went to your bedroom to sing”

 

Your Turn 

I feel ……………………………………………………………… (emotion)

 when …………………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………… (situation)

and I would like …………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………… (outcome).

 

I feel ……………………………………………………………… (emotion)

when …………………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………… (situation)

 and I would like …………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………… (outcome